At the end I'm still alone celebrate new year @@

Exactly,!!!!
Not only my best friend wh
My previous crush oso... ended up, I just give up her
==

I always 发神经 when I'm too boring or depress.
After calm down and mood getting better, only realised why I act like this.
I hope You could understand me and 包容 me.
But, When I'm 发神经, I just need yo to layan me then I will be fine immediately.

Really so tough find u recently.
Christmas alone, new year alone, holiday alone.
Holiday still Kena colleague complaint.
Really Tough year end for me.
Feeling suck..

I think I'm gonna go court a lady.
But I have no idea. I really wish to talk about this and tell my bro
But he never ask bout this from me. @@
Y u never concern me geh?
Pls la.. concern me more ma..
Nan dao u want me suddenly tell u meh..
I really wish to share this with my best fren geh lo..
Currently.. I only can talk to myself @@

I keep tellling my PBB fren this weekend I'm not free, cause I hope May b v have any activity suddenly with my best fren. At least I able to find u lunch on this Sunday. But u choose to eat with them instead of me. Seriously, the feeling for me quite suck. U rather eat with them but not me on this Sunday. This year Christmas and new year dam boring for me. I alone, no activity, even my best fren not free to me.  Really feeling suck for this year end.

im so worried, after u start working, u rather spend time with ur future colleague but not find me like last time anymore.  Sorry i start overthink like this. Sometimes, anyhow I really can't control myself.

This month got 3 ppl birthday
My best bro, my mom and the girl I'm trying to 培养感情c got potential b my girl Fren anot lol
She actually same day birthday with my best bro
But I choose to celebrate actual day with my best bro...
And I noe she will celebrate with her best fren on her birthday day oso...
Actually I just try to c whether got chance anot...
I'm trying to text her everyday but seriously I can't understand y other ppl can chat never stop 1
I'm trying keep Fong topic to talk, talk crap, but ended up, I have no idea what to talk ad...
Sometimes I so scared will 冷场, so I decide to late reply. Lol
Actually I'm quite dilemma.
I hope to look for a girl fren but I scare lost single life  freedom. Lol
And the another reason I don't find GF because my house that mental disorder uncle.
I don't Noe what I'm thinking actually.
Actually I hope to tell my best fren about this...
But Suddenly tell feel weird..or may b when relate to this topic I hope he will Sk me so that I get chance to tell...I always hope that he can concern me more...
主动 ask me but Not I'm 主动 tell him...
All the while, I'm the 1 only keep ask him and concern him bout this...
But I think he feeling 反感ad...cause I always ask.
In contrast, I really hope he will 主动 ask me more rather than I always tell him first.
Sometimes, certain things require 2nd party to ask to concern ...
This not about 8 Gua...
8 gua is only for those common friend, not that close friend.
But I've been always treat our friendship is the most close 1.
So far, many ppl ask me but I choose not to tell because they r not my close fren..
My perception is,  my important thing only tell my best fren...


Anyway Happy birthday to Wai Heong,  Shanen and my mom in this month.

I think he might hang out with some1 or some girl that he always chat with...
But seriously, I don't mind u hang out with who
I just feel unhappy y u just ignore me when u hang out with some1
Don't you just reply me a msg? Can't pick up my call?
I tried to call u twice, but u just ignore my call and never give me a reply.
What do u mean ? Huh? I deserve u treat me like this ?
I totally can't understand ...
u can msg with them when hang out with me.
But me? Like this huh?

Actually I care who u talk with because just wish to noe ur fren around u jek...
but for u is I care too much... I'm sorry 😞

I've been long time no come to ur house heh ad
Today I on leave
And u just leave me alone in ur room and u stay down there
I noe this is ur house ... I have no right say anything
Have no right ask u go where...
but u just leave alone in ur room ?
Feeling uncomfortable nw

I'm nt request to meet u everyday
I'm nt request u to do what...
I just request u willing to spend ur 1 hour break accompany me
Only. Is that hard ? It's really hard ?
Y u could never think bout me? Concern a little bit of me? Take care a little bit of my feeling
U noe that u r my only best fren
Perhaps u think most of the blog here was complaint u
Yes... I wrote it out here but not telling u because I noe the consequence of I complaint to u
So I rather keep it myself
May b u think 不要忍啦 为什么将辛苦
Because u r my only best fren for life ...
This is the reason y I can 忍那么久

为什么你可以对我那么残忍
我找你 为什么你只会叫留在家或找别人
你到底是不是我的好朋友？
为什么我心情不好你就不能陪我一下
我特地去找你break你还说麻烦
其实也不是什么心情不好
只是平时做工已经很纳闷
只想找你聚一聚罢了
为什么我不找别人
因为你是我唯一的好朋友
weekend的时间我真的不想再见其他人了
因为不想费力气应酬
你weekend做工没时间
没关系 我理解
我只是不能理解为什么我特地去找你
你都不要
你还嫌麻烦
宁愿跟别人也不要陪我
我又不是六日都要你和我break啦
一天罢了
真的有那么难吗？
为什么你不能理解我?

心情不好
想找最好朋友陪
没时间
只能一个人默默的继续down
一个人默默的承受心情不好的滋味
能够了解为什么那些人会选择自杀
因为他们真的承受不住
一个人就会多想，乱想
结果就...
运气好的，有人陪着他们，改变自杀的倾向
不好运的，只能够一个人继续默默的乱想，继续的沉落下去
结果就...

Why u can b so cruel to me leave me alone ..
Why ?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?

r v still best fren ?
I was super stressed recently ...
Y u don't even spend your time accompany me ?

Are v still good brother ? Bext fren ? 

I feel like recently u don't willing to tell me things ad...

I ask, u feel fan may b 

I ask, u don't even ans me 

If I force u tell, u said I control ur life

Everything of me I will tell u oso...

Because I really treat u is my bro for life 

But y u won't :..

Previously, I will super sad if I have such feeling

Now... I feel like... Abit ... Haiz.. Suan la 

Wh 原来我们那么多年友情那么 brother
我们之间你还会讲麻烦
有点伤心

I really hate myself ...
Feel like wanna kill myself ...
Wtf to me ???
Like so depression
I'm so confuse right nw ...
I feeling suffer nw...
I hope my best bro could concern me more
Y I feel my life is tough
Y I feel my life is bored
Seriously... I don't noe y I have such a stupid thought
I wish I can b a normal guy... Won't think too much ...
I wish I can b my best bro ... Nothing to think...
I really don't noe wtf to me....
I don't noe who can help me ?
I don't wish simply tell every1...
I only want to tell my best bro...
Bt he kinda like nt understand me...
He kinda like nt really concern me...
I really treat him as my only bro like my family ..
I won't tell my family about my problem, because I don't willing to tell ...
Sometimes somehow I understand y those ppl will choose committee suicide way to end their life...
i don't noe...
Sigh...

我每次都将义气

可是你一点义气都没有

叫我自己吃

和别人吃

哎...
整晚等着你 都没吃
结果你跟别人吃
你就不能不跟他们吃回来跟我吃吗?

越来越觉得人生没意义

I feel like my life is terrible...
I hate myself y I will have such thought....
I hate myself y I always overthinking....
Wth I am...
What's wrong....
Sometimes will think...die jor won't so fan...
Actually I fan what...
What make me so fan...
I don't noe...
Actually I don't really like alone...
But I don't like simply find some1 accompany me..
I only hope my best bro wh accompany me only...

Stay at house....
Very fan....
Tat mental uncle ....fan ah!!!!!!
Why!!!!!!!!

Take long leave but nowhere to go....
Feel like wan go lagoon play ...
But nobody accompany me go....
Even wh oso don't wan go v me because two of us only...
Haiz....
So boring....
My bro go for training learn cook some more ...
No time accompany me ...
Haiz....
Sienz ah...

Wh ah wh ... Why u always so focus chat with other ppl first..bt I have to wait very long time only receive yr reply 1...

最糟糕的新年。。。真的很没心情。。。
连没有晚餐吃，想找他陪我吃都不能。。。
从来都没要想过我有几闷的feeling。。。
我过年已经够闷了。。。
想和你看deadpool，你又和别人看了。。就算了。。。
就算我找其他人。。。其他人也不得空理我。。。发觉到我真的只剩下你这个朋友了。。
家人，又不像你和你家人关系将好。。。

家里没煮。。。
找你去吃个云吞面罢了。。。
你又不要。。。不想出。。。
每次都讲不要。。。不知几久以前你还会陪我去吃，就算你已经吃了。。
现在将小的要求都不能。。。
其实我不是想你陪我吃晚餐而已。。。
我只是想。。。新年到现在我们都没出去过。。。
想和我的好兄弟，出下街，吃个饭，看个戏，讲下话。。。
不然每次有你妹妹在，我也感觉都是多余的啦。。。

最近听你讲don wan la。。。听到都闷了。。。
哎呀。。。我不懂啦。。。

This year Chinese New Year... Is the most boring and unpleasant Chinese New Year in my life. Working... Alone... Date my best fren go watch dead pool... He go watch with others ... Fine lo...
I tot u balik air Tawar... Nvm lo... With family ma... Can watch next time... Bt... Who noe... U said if u don wan watch no ppl fetch u go home ... I can't blame u oso... Bt... Somehow I will feel upset oso ma.... Bt actually u can ask me go fetch u 1 ma....

to be honest... I'm quite angry actually ... Bt I told my self... Don't be angry la... Don't be upset la... Haiz... Tonight I'm alone again... I'm boring again....

Tell him ? Tell him what? Tell him den make him behsong.. And he feel stress somemore.. He won't feel guilty to me oso la

真羡慕你。。。。
新年可以和家里人赌钱。。。玩。。。
还有人和你whatsapp谈天。。。
而我。。。
连唯一找你聊天的你也不得空理我。。。
也不和我多说。。。
以前12点 你还会facetime call 我。。。
现在。。。
你有人陪了 就不当我一回事了
新年我一定要开开心心....🙂

这个long weekend过得真闷。。。
都没有和伟雄出去到。。
他几多节目。。。
可是都没有我份。。。
连星期二要他陪我去买衣服也没去到。。。
好像觉得他去完约会过后。。。
好像都对我冷淡将？
我又没再看他的msg了。。
连他去约会。。。
我都不敢问了。。。
还是又是我多想了。。。
hope so。。。
那天他约会完后。。。
我问他什么都一直说 don wan la。。don wan la。。
也不和我多说几句。。。
废话也不多讲。。。

I think I'm siao Liao..... I nid psycho help....

伟雄好像开始追女孩子了。。。
我慢慢变一个人了。。。
浩铭你不要这样啦。。。
别终是乱想啦。。。

Y u don't want to bring me go along...
Previously..u will ask me go with u..when hang out with Nicole chin..
Bt nw...u don't even tell me u hang out with another 1 if I don't tell u Sunday go cut hair...
U just diam diam go..den when I find u only realize...
Bet Lou ....u have any frens tat I don noe... Like muci, jacky..
U will ask me to join oso...
Y ah ?
Seriously...I don't dare to pattern banyak ad..
Because I scare Next time u don't tell me,,u cheat me...u hide ...

So this Sunday u go out with her,,and I stay alone in house..
How sad...

Seriously...I'm jealous...
2 thing to jealous..
I jealous u go out with another girl jor...din call me..
Another thing is..I'm jealous..y u so good..all the girls come to find u 1...
Chat with u...date with u...
Me ...nothing ....
I noe...I'm not handsome enough...

When i can travel with wh??? Im so jealous when i saw ppl travel with his or her only best fren....

im so scare someday wh will treat me like this and i will facing this...im really scare...seriously..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6rEhQC6qpC8

sometimes i was thinking...
y he can have so many topic with those girls?
y i find some1 to chat...but i couldn't have so much topic..and they dont have topic as well...
i think should be face problem..
ppl look good...look handsome...ofcause gt ppl willing talk with u..
ppl look not good....wtf are you meh..?

LOL
Is kinda have bad feeling when I c my best fren playing bad with the 羽毛球桶 with other person bt not me..
In the past he will find me to play some stupid or crazy thing 1...
Not I don't want to blend in with them...
I couldn't so automatic socialize with ppl anymore...
If you leave me alone or you don't bring me to blend in with them....
I'm just like jb sitting there...really..
Bt if me n u meet them in same day...
May b diff...
Because I feel like v meeting new fren in same day mah...
Bt now...just like you have a bunch of new fren there...
And I'm new....is very hard for me to crazy with them...because they don't noe me...
And I'm so impressed...you able to play with them tat you only meet them 1 day...
and seems like you guys are meet so long time..