I really really feel like want to travel with wh ....
When v can go travel...
Im afraid someday u have ur girlfriend u don't travel with me anymore..u won't play v me anymore 😒

你终是忙着先reply你那些凯家女 而不怎么reply我先。。。
😕
我就没人和我聊天，找你chat你就将忙，你就大把人和你聊不完的天
而我什么都没有。。。
😞
I really feel upset...

Im kinda upset and nt really feel happy for the convo coming soon.
first...my best friend coudn't attend my convo..
fine..is ok...but i only hope he willing to facetime me and take photo with me and post his own insta..lol

2nd...my mom not feeling well....she said she is a little bit hard to breath...
haiz...

3rd..i whatsapp my best fren about this...he online but he din seen or reply anything...
is that other people is more important than me?
he rather focus to reply other msg...but not me??

Sometimes I really have the feeling to ask u to ask them SHUT THEIR FUCK UP so that u able focus to reply me, chat with me with not 敷衍 when u WhatsApp online. And u won't ignore my message.

Actually im nt wan to say good night
Actually i wanted to ask u this afternoon izit u purposely hide it dont wan let me noe who u texting with...
I want to request u can u dont hide to me anymore...?
Bt..: i really nt dare to ask ... Nt dare to say...
Even u ask me gt thing den say
Bt im nt dare..
Because after few experience ....
If i say it out... U sure behsong...
Im scare... Bt im confuse
So... I better keep inside...

Why?????
Why u wan like tat....
When i go in ur room... Gan ngam u gt msg... Den what u do is... U straight away take ur phone and put the other side..
Walao weah u wan like tat ma???
Chat den chat lo... U noe i ard noe u chat with who ad..
And i nt dare say u much ad... Even joke i oso nt dare to joke
Bt u still wan have this small action
I ard promise u i will nt c ur msg anymore
Bt nw.. U make me more sad more upset
When i said wan ur phone take the number...
U nt dare pass it to me because u scare i c tat notification
Walao weah... U nid prevent like this mah...v r fren leh....
V r best fren leh.... U noe i really sad mah....
Why wor?????
What u dont like i ard  try to change amd control

I noe...  U must think .... If last time im nt behave like this... Nowadays u wont be like tat...
Seriously??
Ok la... I admit.. Bt think u really have no problem oso?
Let me ask u... If u nt 心有屎 or what... What for u scare let me noe..
U noe im just kidding sometimes

很想离家出走。。。
这间家不适合我。。。
我被宠坏？？？
哈哈。。。好笑吗？
我觉得很好笑咯。。。

Why my mom like tat...
Cannot talk nicely ?
U one I don't like the way u talk me...
U still wan to use tat way talk to me...
Wtf....
U make me more beh song only..
U make me more uncomfortable in the house only...
If can... I hope can forever stay at Heong house..
But impossible and ridiculous...
Tats y I aways go to his house...even nothing to do..
Nobody can noe my feeling...
I'm gonna to be crazy like my uncle ...

U make me don't like stay in this house...
I really can't find any happiness in this house....
I'm happier outside of this house
I stay at Heong's house, rather than stay in my house...
I'm happier to get along with them,,,but not with u all..
Wai Heong...is my best friend..as well as brother for life...
Even though I got 2 brothers...
But I feel happy when I get along with him...
I feel like he is more brother than my 2 brothers..

I very noe this concept... Tats y i aways control myself... Bt don't have others ppl help it's very hard to solve this problem

I'm so sorry again...
I did wrong again...
Haiz...I oso hate myself why wan to do wrong thing again...
But...why u want to hide?
U noe y...
Recently u so close to red ppl..
I'm worry u really will kick me out soon...
I scared...something u will tell him first bt not me...
Im serious 1... If u don't hide ..I really won't click in c ur msg....
Why I aways want to c ur msg..because every time u purposely hide it don't wan let me noe..
I Noe may b u scare when I noe..I will say u again...
But...I'm not other stranger guy...y I cannot say ?
If u say me..I won't mind..because I one u r my best fren...and u have the right to say me and is for my own good...if other ppl say me..I really won't listen it..and I don't like it..but if the person who say me is u...I will listen and take ur advice...because I noe u won't 害 me..
But after last time..I oso nt dare to say u much...
Scare u think I'm control ur life again...and if I say too much...scare u not telling me anything again..
So tats y I'm so scared u hide me smt...
But...I noe la..no matter how I say...
Is still my fault...my wrong..
I'm really sorry....and I felt regret to do so...
The moment after I did...
I really feeling so scared..and don noe how..
I pray the god u won't be know
Because I noe u will increase ur 戒提心 and 防备心...
and I think u will hide again ...
SORRY !!!!
为什么我终是这样@@

好好我们两个人去做工不好meh？
为什么要将多余还要问red ppl 要不要一起去。。。。
幸好他不要。。不然我就sienz了。。。。
很想跟你讲。。。。只是怕你又不喜欢。。。。
Y u never think about me 1...
I aways think about u..
I aways care your feeling...tats y I'm not happy..I oso not dare to tell u...
Tats y I write it here...
.

浩铭啊 浩铭。。。
你可以不要这样吗？？？
为什么我终是爱那么忧郁 leh？？？
唉。。。
我也不懂。。。
你不能这样控制你的好朋友的吗。。。
可是我就是不喜欢被忽略的感觉。。。
你们讲的话题，我参不进。。。
感觉就像我才是外人。。。
浩铭浩铭。。。
不能这样想。。。
不可以让他有压力。。。
不能。。。
可是。。。
其实我不是很喜欢那个red ppl 慢慢的介入我们中。。。
其实我很怕。。。有一天
我会变成第二个ppl。。。
虽然说我每次告诉我自己不会的啦。。。
要对雄有信心。。。
可是。。。有时候可能就是我的想太多。。。我的忧郁。。。
让我没信心。。。
其实啦。。
我就是不甘心每次如果我们和red ppl出去。。。
就是有时候有种感觉我被忽略了。
nonono。。。。浩铭。。。stop。。。。
这里写。。。这里发泄算了。。
控制。。控制。。

That day at genting ... Holding his phone.. And tat suey chea msg him .: i only saw the msg from notification , smt like upload more photos let her like la..:
I swear i din click in c the msg... Even im soooo curious what they talking about..
Who is her??? Bt im feeling upset... Because my best fren rather tell other ppl thing oso don wan tell me.... 我连她都不如吗? Feeling like wanted to ask him... Bt i knew ... You will tell me as last time 1...
Y u so willing to tell her thing leh?? She even nt ur fren ... N she is ppl's fren ...
I really hope you can tell me everything without i find it out and ask u...

I don noe you will blame me that I don wan red ppl go out with us anot...
But..I hope you can understand..I just want every outing can feel relax, happy, crazy without limit..
actually im quite enjoy currently ... not really wan other ppl interfere among us...
sounds like so selfish hor....??

actually i dont mind sometimes go out with him if he jio us first once in a while..like go yam cha only...u ask me..i go only...
but if what we have plan..den he suddenly join..or suddenly jio...den...lik tat lo....
i don noe??? may b u think im selfish??
ya lo..im selfish lo..im selfish for my happy...
lol
u noe ? I don noe u understand my feeling anot...



.

bro and sis also have this kind of exp in friendship...
how come ah???
seriously..im quite worry happen same thing on us...me and heong..
i really really really hope it will not be happen in the future...
i really really really hope our best friendship could eternal, forever...
i only admit you are my only best fren and bro in my life...even ur position is over my siblings..lol
might sounds cheesy...but its really what i think..hehe...

i realized...unofficially, our friendship almost 8 years...
but officially, our friendship almost 9 years...because i noe u during form 3..and i went your house play games b4....i think u might forget about it..but i do remember...

your sis might right..some people are just pass by in ur life...
but some people willing to stop and park in ur life..to become your bro, sis, soulmate, and spouse..
actually i very appreciate our friendship...
i try to maintain our friendship....

i have to say...
when the incident happened among you and ppl...
you might think im on your side because i feel same thing with you....
but i gotta say...even im not feeling same thing with you...
or if even actually is your problem.....
im surely , definitely, conlanfirm support you, on your side...
because bro for life mah... hahaha...

but sometimes if i said something or advice you something that may make u unpleasant..
i hope you understand...just for your own good...never wan to bring bad to you.. LOL LOL..
seriously 1....

better than you....i aways ask you some advice...what your advice to me only is..
you like lo.... is your money mah...you like lo..is your freedom mah....
du lan lo....if im your best fren...you shud give your since advice to me mah....
i noe what u think.... u've been aways said...做你自己，喜欢做什么就做什么。。。
u noe ...actually it is half wrong.... it will mislead people in other way...
tats y gt robbery, rape, smoke, drug abuse, do bad thing...
i noe some ppl if gt brain will not do all those bad thing..
but sometimes smart ppl will make wrong decision, will do wrong thing oso...
sometimes 当局者迷，旁观者清。。。。

sienz till die ahh.!!! all the day do same thing....
n

刚看完一套戏
我好....想和我的最好的朋友，雄去旅行... lol

meet a long and old and awkward friend - people
so fake and awkward when meet him

i was thinking, basically, i don have much friend left.
in KL, i onle have my best bro wai heong, den 2 fren like sister.
No more.... even Christopher and Andrew used to be my best fren.
But now, no more, because v too long time no communicate
Friend like normal fren...
May b u think i gt soooo many friends...
yeah...but those friends are only uni friends who pass by in my life only, and stay far far away

 Currently, the only only my best best friend and bro in my life is Wai Heong

nobody can understand me how boring in my home....

everytime when i noe u go out with red ppl or who
this is my exactly feeling, even u not posting pic

for me, may b i noe i lebih do extra thing

every single time when i go out with who, and u at home, definitely i will msg u, chat v u, because i knew it..hahaha.... but may b for u will not feel lik this...but i 习惯 jor... LOL

lol..
too boring...too free..look back the photo...
seriously..all become memory...
i used to have few gang b4
1st gang is choo yee them...
during secondary school..
v aways hang out to celebrate bear, or me birthday..
me n bear aways bought some korea mee to choo yee house watch movie...
during cny v visited each other house 拜年
v go sing k...

after tat...change gang jor..
gang with alan looney them...
starting i don noe them..i join them because bear move there oso..lol
v aways go here go there...
v go penang together...
bicycle ...
sing k....
outing...
working ...
swimming....
playing bad...

afterward..
something happen...
conflict between bear n cy..
i choose bear, n leave cy...
seriously...
is quite upset because the gang is dismiss n never have chance go travel with bear anymore..
even i don mind go travel alone with bear...bt he mind...so 遗憾
sometimes saw some facebook friends travel with best fren..so 羡慕
but is ok...i rather stick with u oso don wan find them back..
meaningless if without my best fren...

hahaha..seriously..i quite enjoy tat time im the only close fren in ur life..
but slowly..now u macam gt ur own fren ad..u gt red ppl, u gt a gang of colleague
i really really hope im still ur close, best fren in ur life..be your bro..haha
may b u do feel sounds gay..haha..but for me is sounds friendship..
i hope u don feel any trouble or behsong or 反感 or 压力 on me if i did anything u don like
because if i wan feel 反感，压力，behsong on u...
很早的时候，我和你不会那么好朋友，好bro了。。。
因为我已经包容和接受你的缺点了。就算你弄到我不爽，不舒服都好，我也不会跟你闹翻，因为你是我最好的朋友，最好的bro。。。don show middle finger ah...don 翻白眼
你妹妹曾今讲过我
为什么我终是那么喜欢把我的脸贴在你的屁股
原因很简单 我们是好朋友好bro嘛。。。为什么要那么计较。。是不是
如果是将计较的话，我们的友情不就很儿戏很化学了吗。。
其实我是很计较的人，可是我只会对普通朋友计较，而不是你。。。
n hor..i hope u wont suddenly treat me cool leh....
very down..very sienz d leh...

im serious 1... 不过其实我很害怕不懂你怎样想
上次看到你在facebook like 一个post
something like this: 别以为我们感情很好，其实什么都不是
i very very scare u think like tat to me...


LOL just suddenly 感触wan write out what in my mind..because i hard to tell all this thing to u ..u sure show middle finger and 翻白眼 1..haha..

for mom
特地留在家里打扫家
你却给脸色看
将多意见自己做啦。。。
真是难跟你沟通
不做给你讲我没意见
我做也给你讲
你想怎样
做慈济做到这样的meh？

另一个颠佬又在家里发疯
真的很不想留在家里。。。 ==

not i wan to force u...
finally succeed to persuade u..
i hope u really can understand my situation

为什么你终是弄到我将不爽的
上次忘记我跟别人吃午餐， 我都算了
这次本来答应跟我一起做工，现在因为要穿formal而不要
人家问我几次confirm 不 confirm ， 我都讲confirm
你现在告诉我不要，
你也别red ppl ffk 过啦
你也知道不爽啦。。
为什么你不会为我想下的。。。 ==

雄啊 为什么这几天你对我终是那么客气了的呢？？

I really can't understand
Y both of u gt so many night talk Geh meh ?
Every single day oso chat...
Can ask tat girl shut up ah....
Aways disturb ....

again..again..again...
v play how long den u chat how long..
wtf....this not ur style...
usually u playing dota u will off facebook
but v play how long i saw u keep on9 somemore is mobile status...
and i saw she on9 at the sametime oso...
walao weah...
u said u noe what u doing...
so?? this??
n..u go out with her u don wan on9...
i find u ..u ignore me...
how about me??
normal fren is like this??
 hey... ur action telling me this is not normal fren lo...
u so care when she msg u ??
pls la...normal fren wor...normal fren u wont so care when she msg u 1...
and u wont so enthusiasm talk to her...
even im so close with u..i oso cant get ur talk to me in enthusiasm..
haiz....

其实我真的真的真的好想跟你讲请别这样
好想问你到底怎么想。。。
可是我又怕你有不爽
结果就变成我不爽。。。
只能放在心里面

I really really wanted to tell u...
Can u don too much...keep chat with tat girl anymore ?
She just a hi bye fren..y u so care....
U said u watch drama..bt I keep c u on9..
Fine...but I chat with u u just ans my question or lol only...
And I think u keep chat with her in the same time
What the fuck ?
You noe me how sad..
U so active chat with her instead of me...?
U told me many times u just normal fren with her...
I tell u..u ard don noe what u do..u ard over the limit..
I really really wan to discuss with u about this..
I really really want to noe what u think...
But I scare u behsong me again...
U noe...again..u make me really wanted to ask her can u pls stop disturb my fren ant...

What now ?
I at ur home...and u busy chat with her ah ?
And u leave me alone eat in ur house...I ask u watch movie together sambil watch sambil eat
But u said don wan ...bt I saw u chat with tat girl...
What now ? From morning till just now I oso saw u chat with her .....
I really wan to tell u..
Eh...can u pls don keep chat with her ah ?
Y u enthusiasm to her ?
U not said fren Jek meh...
Can chat with hi bye fren all the time ?
Sometime I really betahan gt 冲动 ask her can don keep kacao u anot...
Bt of cause I think only..not dare....
If I do it..I noe what is the consequence...
Bt I really scare sometime u force me to do this....
Pls la... U told u no feeling to her ..but y u still keep flirt with her ....
Chat as normal fren..I noe what I'm doing ...this is what u will tell me..
Bt what u do now ard over jor lo.....

Today i was so happy...
He treat me lik b4 so enthusiasm
Im so happy.. Holiday mood is begin 😃

Haiz....so boring ah.......!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Y v macam nt active like b4 jor Geh ?
 I hope is me think too much....
Seeing u keep on9 long time..
And I saw she on9 oso...
I think u busy  chat with her again guah....
Bt I find u chat...v macam not active like b4 jor....
I don wan to tell u this problem ...
Because I noe I tell u ...
And den u macam purposely active chat with me..u noe ? Feel so fake and macam sarcastic lo...
So I better don wan tell u .....
反正 u not 1st time treat me 冷淡 d la...
But nvm....I don mind....even is not good feeling la.. But I still don mind..v best fren mah...
And I realize that...
My blog macam aways write negative thing 1.....
Haha
I noe la...because now I use here as the only place let me 发泄

突然间我也很想跟伟雄唱K
我们已经好久没唱了。。。

watch whole day drama
don noe y ..
i feel so boring...
he happy sing k with other ppl, and im boring in the house..
so 可悲 lol.... no offence..no sarcastic...i just say what situation right now only
以前 aways find him, and he everytime go out with me 1..
but now...
he go sing k liao
and i only can waiting him...
i noe u sure ask me go find other fren la...
but seriously i don like u say that..
u macam 赶 me jiang even i noe u din mean it...
i better to hear u say that wait me back la..or something else..oso better den this lol

not dare to ask u what time back...scare u behsong me..
izit i cant like b4 i wan talk whatever to him?
nw what i wan say to u i abit scare u will behsong me...
yes...is become stress to u ad...
but i wont treat u like "ppl"
even i abit stress to u ..but i still don mind..
because u still my best fren and bro for life..
i hope coming days u can give back my confidence and remove my stress on u...
amitapha...haha

oh ya...and i noe u shudn't think too much....
i noe...but actually everytime i try my best to control...

惨了
我真的要崩溃了
When i saw he reply me
"Not ur problem is mine"
I gonna to be 崩溃 in tat moment..
Im really scare...
I don wan be tat ppl ...
Pls.... Im so sorry...
Pls do nt do not end our friendship...
Im still wan to be ur best best fren...
Seriously... I really tension till wanna cry..:
I just want to said sorry and maintain back out friendship...
 Y. We become like tat 1?
Today gonna to go back kl
Actually is excited... Bt nw... I totally no mood anymore...
I very scare...
I tot even last night u behsong , today u will nothing jor
Bt i send u msg... I saw u on9 bt u nt seen, after tat when seen u no reply me anything
Even i told i kena saman today... U just seen.. And u no reply at all oso
I saw u on9 ... Im waiting for ur reply...bt u give nothing to me
What i said last night just common conversation...
I din mean it... V bet lou oso chat in this way... I really cant understand u behsong for what?
Seriously... Yes i behsong u went out with her bt i ask u pei me u reject...
Bt i only behsong a little while only...
I din take it so serious...
And im nt behsong anymore.. I just wan to tell u sorry...
And im waiting u reply me... I noe u working nw...
Nw my mood was screwed up..
Pls... If im b tat ppl again i really will 崩溃
I really don noe how to describe my current mood nw
Is suffering for me to smile when i meet uni fren ..
Pls...

Y wor ....
This time is u make me think lik tat 1....
U go out with tat girl and u drive and fetch back to mid valley den go home..
Den this not tired ah ?
I ask u pei me only den u said don wan and u said tired....
I'm ur best fren leh...
She just hi bye fren leh....
Y?
B4 I ask u pei me u will pei me 1....
But now... @@
Now even ask u pei me go u oso said tired...
Haiz....
U noe what....
When I think u go out with tat hi bye fren whole day until night, and u drive
I din heard u said any tired or what....
And den now I ask u pei me..den u said tired don wan...
i really dissapointed lo...
Now ba bei jor la...
When u conflict with ppl, I stand on ur side..
I give up them, and I still wan to be ur best fren...
Den now.....?
Sorry la...may b what I think now actually u not mean it...

Here what i think den I write it here...
I noe if I tell u this...the consequence is u behsong...u 反感...
And den finally? I become another  ppl jor?
I ard try to control myself...what I think I just keep it in my heart...
I wish to tell u too... Bt I noe the consequence....I don wish to destroy our friendship ...
I'm afraid....
If u think I'm nt good or what...u tell me Im sure I will accept..
But u....sometimes dare to tell u sometimes not....
If u din go out with her...u said tired and reject me..I still can accept...
 Sorry la...I noe what I think now is trouble to u...
Tats y I just keep in my heart ...don wan voice out....
But still repeat again...我真的想不通，你肯单独跟她出去一整天， 可是我叫你却说累....
But hor,..I don wan tell u what I think is because I'm afraid next time u go out with her and u don wan tell me and cheat me again...I don wish our friendship become lik tat because of tat girl...and u become stress to me..and den I become tat ppl again....
May b u will said....so Sam fu...don wan 忍 la....I din force u 1.. Or something else...
If I'm this kind of ppl and I treat uj lik tat...which mean u for me...not tat best fren only...
But I'm not... Best fren, Bro for life is torelate each other...
Accept each other flaw..
As u noe...I can have many fren's in my life...
But I can tell u....I'm the ppl who hard to 交心 and treat as best fren even bro for life...
And u r the 1....
Yeah...its sound so 肉麻...but it's real for me...

What I said here....it's just my 发泄 no offence....

So miss 以前的我们的时候